Calm your mind

Five tips to calm your mind and create more space for positive feelings

It can be a challenge to leave behind the constant worrying, overthinking, looking ahead, or revisiting whether you’ve made a mistake. However, it is possible to give your mind more peace and create space for more positive feelings. These tips can help you with that:

Write down your worries  ✍️
Instead of avoiding your worries, set aside 15 minutes to put your thoughts on paper. Write without judgment, so your hand naturally expresses what’s unconsciously going on inside you, what’s bothering you, or what you’re worrying about in your daily life. After writing everything down, you can use the following questions to re-evaluate your thoughts:

"Is this a helpful thought?"
"Is this all necessary?"
"What else is true?" (to see the bigger picture and look at your thoughts from a different perspective)
"Enough is enough."
"What really bothers me here?"
"Is this actually my responsibility?"
"Who do I want to prove right?"
"Who am I angry with?"
"Can I express my anger in a healthy way?"
"What do I feel? What do I see? What do I smell?" (Discover what belongs to the present moment and what belongs to the past, identifying old patterns.)

Reframe Your Thoughts

Try to avoid extreme words like "always" or "never." Instead, use more balanced expressions, such as: “This is a challenge for me, but I can improve it.” Instead of “Why is this happening to me?” you can ask, “What can I learn from this?” This opens your mind to new possibilities and directs your focus toward opportunities for growth.
For example, replace “What if I mess up?” with “What if I learn and grow from this?” Ask yourself: “What’s the smallest thing I can do right now?” and make a list of things you can do. Create an “I CAN” list to remind yourself of your strength.

Use humor to distance yourself from your thoughts

Try adding some loving humor by saying something like: “Thanks, mind, that was very helpful!” Say it in a funny way, so you’re thanking your mind for the ‘alarm’ that went off, while also indicating there’s no real danger. This helps to put your thoughts in perspective.

Blow to relax

Calm yourself by exhaling slowly. Imagine blowing all your negative thoughts, images, and feelings into a bubble, which drifts away from you. Picture yourself blowing bubbles, with one bubble being bigger than the other and maybe even reflecting beautiful rainbow colors. The prolonged exhalation with playful energy activates your parasympathetic nervous system, helping you relax.

Seek nature

Nature has a calming effect on your mind. Take a walk outside or sit in a park to reset your thoughts. If you can’t go outside, imagine you’re in a beautiful natural setting. You can even daydream intentionally, possibly with the help of an audio, perhaps specifically developed by therapist Mirjam Verschoor.

By applying these tips, you give yourself the chance to calm your mind and create space for positive feelings or self-compassion.