From emotion to insight

In everyday life, we all experience emotions. Sadness when we lose something, joy when things go well, fear when danger arises. These are pure emotions. They’re part of being human. They come up, offer information, and if we allow them, they often fade on their own.

But there are also feelings that are more complex—like guilt and shame. And those tend to linger much longer.

What are pure emotions?
Pure emotions are universal. Think of:

• Sadness – when we lose someone or something.
• Joy – when something brings us happiness.
• Fear – in the face of (possible) danger.
• Anger – when our boundaries are crossed.

They are direct and functional. A child who falls and cries shows pure sadness. A dog that jumps at a loud noise and hides shows fear. Emotions give us information: Something is happening. They help us respond to what is happening right now.

What about feelings like guilt and shame?
Guilt and shame may seem like emotions, but they’re actually emotional constructs. They often arise later, shaped by what we’ve learned about ourselves, about what’s “right” and “wrong,” about how we’re supposed to be.

• Guilt says: “I did something wrong.”
• Shame says: “There is something wrong with me.”

These feelings are not inborn—they’re learned. Often, they begin in early childhood, shaped by our upbringing, environment, and trauma. They can become deeply rooted patterns that cause us to shrink, to reject parts of ourselves or to constantly try to please others.

Why does this distinction matter?
When we learn to recognize these feelings as old patterns—as something that once began but isn’t truly you—we create space. Space to choose. Space to feel what you’re actually experiencing in the moment.

Maybe there’s sadness underneath the shame. Or anger beneath the guilt. And most importantly: space opens for hope.

The first step: recognition and kindness
Acknowledging these feelings isn’t weakness. It’s an act of strength. It’s an invitation to rediscover yourself beneath layers of learned beliefs.

• Allow yourself to be curious. Not: “What’s wrong with me?” but: “Where did this come from?”
• Not: “I should be ashamed,” but: “What happened that made me start to feel this way?”

There is nothing wrong with you. Perhaps only with the story you once started to believe because, at the time, you had no other choice